why are you making this drag on so long?
Today was so much worse than yesterday. The butterflies kept coming back. And when i sucessfully make it stop, this HUGE stone will just come and fall to the pit of my stomach. You, this is all your fault, you bitch. I know it doesn't mean anything at all to you but do you know how much misery it has caused me? You don't just keep promising and bringing up my hopes when you are so not going to fulfill it. You know what? I HATE THE YEAR 2007 BECAUSE OF YOU! great right? You actually have such a great power to determine what the rest of my year is like. I have always thought it was a stupid thing to mull over, but now, i really don't care anymore. Why am i trying so hard for? Who exactly am i trying to please? Or am i doing it to please myself? The thing is, no matter how hard i try, it just keeps failing on me. And worse, no one understands. Everyone just thinks i am being a stupid person and it is nothing actually. Yah, i know it is nothing, but i don't know how to stop myself from being such an emo sai. Why can't you just be like the others? Why do you have to poke your bloody nose into everything? Why can't you just leave us alone? I hate you. Every single time i start _, my mood will drop so much that i won't even have the energy or the interest to do anything. And when i get home, everything will just start squeezing the emo shit out of me. Your presence have ruined my life. Do you really enjoy making me feel so miserable? I hate you. I hate the sight of you. I hate the sound of you. Just thinking of you makes me want to kill myself. Hate doesn't seem strong enough at all. But what other words are stronger than hate? I can't sleep at night because of you. I can't bring myself to wake up and go to school because of you. School sucks to pure death. I cannot stand having to be tortured every minute and every second of life. Why not try screwing yourself? Maybe it will make you a better person. Seriously. you NEVER fail to spoil my mood. At one moment i can be laughing like no one's problem, but at the thought of you, my entire mind will just go blank and it will be filled with hatred. I don't like to come home cause there isn't any more distractions when i am home. Wow, you even make me hate home. Thanks. I feel like screaming into your face right now. But i have to thank you for one thing. Thanks for relieving my stress because crying helps to relieves stress right? DAMN YOU. BITCHBITCHBITCH.
Tuesday, 26 June 2007 // 19:22